Homosexuality

   SO. Another week has passed. But the thing about this week is that I reflected a lot more on how I think about certain things, and this week it was how I view a particular group of individuals who, stereotypically, tend to make themselves into their own kind of species, if you will. This week we covered the topic of homosexuality.
   Growing up in my household I don't recall any time when my parents talked about what homosexuality is; honestly I can't even remember how I learned what homosexuality even was. I know in some of the more risque PG-13 movies I watched at a much younger age I occasionally saw girls making out with each other and I thought it might have been something they did when they were drunk (one particular scene that comes to mind, probably when I saw it on screen for the first time, was in Mean Girls when the main character Cady arrives at a halloween party and one of the first things she sees is two girls making out and some guy behind them cheering them on. I still remember looking at that and wondering what in the world they were doing). But somewhere along the way I learned what homosexuality was, but for me personally it's never disgusted me or bothered me a lot. I know it's something I myself am not at all interested in, but again I never felt personally disturbed by it. I know my parents certainly are, especially my mother, and I imagine that's probably why they never talked about it with us. Their strong opinions about homosexuality was probably one of the reasons they established very rigid gender roles in the home.
   What I found most interesting about our topic for this week was not so much how homosexuality can affect a family, but where homosexuality can stem from (according to research) and how to work with those who have unwanted homosexual attractions. We all watched this fascinating video (I'll post the link down below) where a few men who have/currently struggle(d) with SSA/SGA (same-sex attraction/same-gender attraction) opened up about how they became "gay". I'll just go ahead and refer to them as "gay" for the sake of typing time, hope that doesn't offend anyone. I was astonished to learn that all of these men had been molested by someone at a very young age (and thus learned about sexualizing things at way too young an age), had poor relationships with their fathers and had very very (almost too) close relationships with their mothers, and felt that they were 'different from the other boys'. In the beginning of their what I'll call 'transition', when they were drawn to other boys, it wasn't even because they were sexually attracted to them- that came later with puberty and pornography- but because they wanted physical manifestations of acceptance that they never received before- a strong pat on the back, a slap on the butt for a good play, a bro hug, something that gave them validation from the guys that he was one of them.
   I still remember my sophomore year of high school when I gained a new best friend who was openly gay. I remember feeling just as astonished then to learn about how he became gay, because up until that time I'd thought being gay was something just wrong with their heads, like a hormonal imbalance. He told me that because he'd seen his parents being so openly sexual around their children and trying to make their children feel like that was a good thing, he felt disgusted with the idea of men and women being intimate together, so he turned to the next best thing in his mind. I still love this friend of mine to death, and he's even more openly gay than he was before. Even though I don't agree with his lifestyle, I am genuinely happy that he is happy.
   Overall, this week helped me gain SO SO SO much more compassion for those who claim to be homosexual, especially those who have unwanted gay attractions. They are just people who were not loved in the ways we think are ideal; they are people who, like us, are seeking for acceptance and validation for who they are. We all sometimes go through crazy avenues to find those things, but the important thing is to keep an open mind and an open heart to let them know that at least we accept them as real people.