"Let's Talk About Sex Baby"

I'm sure you were a little caught off guard by that title, but I thought I might try to make sure the rest of my blog's mood wasn't too serious. We're here to talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be, so let's talk about sex.
Here's the thing: immediately when we even hear or even see the word sex, what comes to our minds? Does the word make you feel uncomfortable, does it seem like a funny thing, does it bring up bad memories or negative past experiences, how does it make you feel to talk about it? For me, sometimes the word sex even now makes me feel...well, not queasy or disgusted, but just nervous that someone will see or hear me involved in that conversation- like 'why is she talking about sex with someone? She must be a dirty person!' Obviously that's not the way it is, I know, but in my mind of social anxiety that's what comes to my mind. I came to understand a while ago that sex is nothing to be ashamed of and that it's something that every person needs to talk about at some point, or at least think about at some point.
As part of a "Leave It to Beaver" kind of home, there seems to be an unspoken understanding that talking about sex is bad; anytime anything related to it is mentioned there's awkward silence and uncomfortable vibes. I never even got the sex talk with my parents; I remember their version of the sex talk was that it's beautiful and sacred, but because it's sacred it needs to be kept within a sacred trust and promise between two people that truly love each other. Even after that I still didn't know what it actually is, like what it takes for a baby to be conceived. I knew that there involved a lot of kissing and that sometimes you'd take off your clothes, but I had no idea what else there was. I eventually found out from a friend at school when I was a freshman in high school, 15 years old. Some dumb boys were making a sex joke in front of us and I just felt so tired of being so ignorant so I went ahead and asked. I definitely remember feeling queasy about that.
As I've grown and matured, and specifically in this case physically matured, I came to understand the implications of and factors involved with sex. I learned, especially from my dad, that a major reason why sex is such a powerful thing is because it's meant to heal and build upon relationships of love; sex is so powerful that even when the relationship is in shambles or about to be so, having sex can make the partners feel like their problems might not be so big and it literally heals relationships. Sex can create feelings of intimacy where there were none before. And because sex is so powerful, I want to make sure I treat my first time as something truly special and to save it for someone who is truly special to me.
In regards to sex during marriage, one thing we talked about this week was the idea of having an affair- why it happens, different kinds of affairs and what they all mean, and how to mend a relationship where an affair broke mutual trust between partners. It honestly made me really really sad to think that affairs really are a reality in this world- even though it's even less common today than it was back in say the 60's or 70's to have an affair (this was during the sexual revolution), it's obviously still around- and even worse that there are multiple ways to have an affair other than having explicit sexual relations with someone other than your spouse. Even a married woman having a serious celebrity crush can be considered an affair! No one is immune! My favorite quote I read from a fantastic article about all these very subjects is "Infidelity has less to do with the state of a marriage and more to do with the individual. It is often a result of a personal transformation that has taken place within an individual’s very nature." Just because your marriage or relationship may be suffering, that is still no excuse to indulge in an affair, or even multiple. Most people (including me before this week) believe that people who engage in affairs are suffering bad marriages and are seeking some kind of validation from another source. But even in great marriages people can decide have affairs.
The biggest thing I learned/was reminded of this week was not only the beauty and sacredness of sex, but more importantly my resolve to stay faithful to my future spouse became even stronger. I promised a long time ago and even today whenever I hear about someone being unfaithful in their relationship, I silently think to myself, "I am never ever ever going to cheat on my husband- not with another man, not with Youtube, not in my thoughts, none of that."